Called and Caffeinated

You Are Enough feat. Mike Tenney

“When you truly know yourself, then you truly don’t care what anyone thinks of you.”

This episode was originally supposed to be called “How Should You Spend Your Teen Years?” However, my conversation with Mike Tenney covers issues that extend far beyond our teen years for many of us: insecurity, comparison, self-image problems, fear of commitment, pressure to perform/pick a public image, negotiating attraction and dating, and building your interior castle. Mike is a dynamic speaker and high school teacher, (we went to Catholic U together back in the day!) and he’s the real deal when it comes to connecting deep spiritual issues to everyday life. You’ll be healed, illuminated, and will find gems to help you live more intentionally sprinkled all over this episode- I’m so excited to share it with you!

Topics Discussed

• When you think you’re called to an unspecified “something big,” and how to wrestle with that
• The mental shift that helped me stop being so hard on myself
• Becoming a digital disciple
• What you should and shouldn’t prioritize in your teen years
• You are enough, and here’s why
• Should you date in high school? (Mike and I have different opinions on this one!)
• Living by design, not by default

Resources

• Mike Tenney’s website
• Follow Mike on Instagram: @pkmikeyt
• The Interior Castle by St. Teresa of Avila
• Emotional Virtue by Sarah Swafford

This episode is sponsored by the Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program hosted by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. To learn more and apply for this FREE mission opportunity, visit www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program

This episode is also sponsored by Delphina Rose Art. Use code CALLED for 10% off your first order! https://delphinaroseart.com

Expectations vs. Reality feat. Fr. Mike Schmitz

“I might not know the meaning of this moment, but if I am convinced that there is a God who loves me then I know that this moment has meaning.”

The man, the myth, the legend: It's Fr. Mike Schmitz!!! If you’ve ever wanted to know his coffee order, you’ll hear ALL the details right down to his favorite roast here. Also, he shares that he might be Superman. He just might be. And you’ll also hear a fun story from my Broadway National Tour about how the Mayor of Munchkinland got arrested trying to cross the Canadian border. If you’re already a fan of Fr. Mike, you’re going to love our deep dive into all things discernment.

At the end of the episode please enjoy my rendition of my favorite Advent song, Gabriel's Message. Simple, haunting, and unspeakably lovely.

Topics Discussed

• The three levels of God’s calls that can INSTANTLY help you prioritize
• Holier does not always equal harder, but neither should we make decisions to avoid pain
• Avoiding comparison
• A philosophical meander: Is what we feel in consolation most true in God’s plan for us?
• The donuts vs. bacon analogy to help you find your deepest desires
• The simple question that will reveal real motivations
• Handling expectations when life falls short of what you thought
• The real reason you are special, enough, and wanted
• Anxiety: how do you know when it comes from an anxiety disorder or from natural jitters over a decision?

Resources

• Dan and Amber DeMatte’ episode of Called and Caffeinated
• Fr. Mike’s new book, Pray, Decide and Don’t Worry
• A Severe Mercy and Under the Mercy by Sheldon Vanauken
• The “False” Sanction of Eros by Sheldon Vanauken

This episode is sponsored by the Serving the Aged Lovingly Today (SALT) Mission Program hosted by the Carmelite Sisters for the Aged and Infirm. To learn more and apply for this FREE mission opportunity, visit www.carmelitesisters.com/SALT-program

This episode is also sponsored by Delphina Rose Art. Use code CALLED for 10% off your first order! https://delphinaroseart.com

How to Get an Answer From God feat. Annie Deddens

"It’s easy to be hyper-focused on the intention, and to be less focused on what God may want in our life. So we need to make that the right priority in our prayers."

How often have you asked "God, just show me what you want me to do and I'll do it?" Or said, "God, WHY WON'T YOU SHOW ME?" I know I said that to God daily during my discernment of religious life. Today's guest, Annie Deddens, is the founder of Pray More Novenas, a website dedicated to helping Catholics finish their 9 day prayers for specific intentions. We talk about how a novena CAN be used and how it SHOULDN'T be used, Annie's stories of hearing from half a million people around the world who are praying together, and some bonus advice for Catholic entrepreneurs on starting something new. Enjoy!

Topics Discussed

• What is a novena and what is it for?
• Fitting novenas into the bigger picture of discernment: it's not always about the answer
• How Annie and John-Paul started Pray More Novenas together
• When should you start something you feel called to?
• How a novena to St. Therese paved the way for being on my Reality TV show The Sisterhood: Becoming Nuns

Resources

• Pray More Novenas- Sign up for FREE Advent Retreat featuring Stacey as a speaker here! (donations optional)
• @CatholicWifeCatholicLife on social media
• St. Joseph Novena: discerning what to study, moving, buying/selling a house, switching jobs
• St. Anne Novena: discerning marriage
• St. Therese Novena: discerning a call to religious life
• Meg Hunter-Kilmer’s episode on Called and Caffeinated
• St. Peregrine Novena- for those suffering from cancer
• Surrender Novena- great for discerning ANYTHING
• Unanswered Prayers on Catholic Wife, Catholic Life

Wanna Make Your Side Hustle Your Main Gig? feat. Mario and Lauren Costabile

Every day, every moment, is a building block of God’s plan. Nothing is ever wasted.

It's Called and Caffeinated's first father-daughter interview! Ever have a dream but think, nobody's going to pay me to do that? Ever wonder how to turn the thing you love to do into the thing you get to do all the time? Want to inspire others with your passion for your Faith? You might tell yourself the market is already saturated with creatives, only the very lucky make it, you've got nothing original to offer, blah blah blah. Put aside that judgy voice and get some solid guidance on how to get started here. If God is calling you to make your side hustle your main gig, he'll take care of the success. You just gotta do your side of the work.

Mario Costabile founded Array of Hope, a media company, to move hearts with quality videos, music and witness. His daughter Lauren joined the team later as a singer, speaker and director of social media. The company seeks to spread the gospel message in an understandable way using media that people understand. They saw a need for quality Catholic media and are filling it. Today they're detailing how they went from being a family band playing together at home to a full production company with films on FORMED, EWTN, Shalom World TV, and others. 

Friends, I firmly believe the world needs your gifts and God is calling you to use them in some way. You're not too old, too young, too inexperienced, too anything for God to manifest his incredible dreams through you!

Topics Discussed

• Social media use: how to use it to evangelize
• Getting all the pieces together for a startup
• The moment Mario answered the call to begin Array of Hope- he was in his 50s and it took TEN YEARS!
• Tuning into your joy as a guidepost
• The reality of how long it takes to grow a business
• How to know you're heading in the right direction and how to "do it all"
• The vital importance of collaborating with those who inspire you

Resources

• Array of Hope
• Marie Forleo
• Joe Melendrez's episode of Called and Caffeinated

Orthodoxy is Not Enough feat. Dr. Edward Sri

Orthodoxy.

Pro-life.

Mass on Sunday.

Rosary.

Doing allllll the Catholic things.

Not enough.

“The Lord really wants me to make him not just a part of my life, but the center.”

In school we learn in a classroom, taking notes and regurgitating information on tests. But that’s not how people learned in Jesus’s day. Apprentices learned by living with their teacher- imitating not just what he did but how and who he was. The legendary Dr. Edward Sri, author of Into His Likeness (and so much more) describes what being a disciple of Christ really looks like.

It’s not just staying in bounds… it’s so much more. And that is the foundation for ALL good discernment.

BONUS: Mozart's gorgeous Ave Verum Corpus. All 4 parts sung by me (singing bass is a fun challenge!) I put a LOT of effort into it for you guys, so I hope you enjoy it!

Topics Discussed

• The little Annunciations
• Imitating our Rabbi
• Surrendering- What do we gain?
• Daily practices of a true disciple

Resources

• Dr. Sri's SEVEN books here!
• Symbolon and Who Am I to Judge? Dr. Sri’s video series on FORMED (Catholic Netflix- inquire if your parish has a subscription!)
• All Things Catholic- Sri’s podcast

Build Faith and Discover Your Unique Gifts feat. Sarah Christmyer

“I am going to praise the Lord because of who he is and what he has promised. And when I do it repeatedly, it brings life into me and changes my heart.”

Ladies, if you struggle to believe that you have what it takes, if you are jealous of other women, if you’re angry with God because your life isn’t working out the way you wanted, if you struggle to trust God, if you feel caught between following your heart and following your dreams: This episode is for you.

Eve, Sarah, Rahab, Leah, Rachel, Miriam, Deborah, Judith, Esther. These women may have lived a long time ago, but they were REAL. They experienced every struggle you can imagine, including impossible circumstances, inadequacy, carrying the consequences of their sinful actions, infertility, disappointment, being unnoticed, comparison, illness, and jealousy. Fortunately, Sarah Christmyer has already done the work mining the gold nuggets for you!

Sarah is the author of Becoming Women of the Word as well as over a dozen other books and the Great Adventure Bible Series (anyone else remember using that as a kid???) She wants to empower you with knowledge that you have what it takes to carry out God’s plan, how to live each day in contentment no matter your circumstances, the power of approaching each day prepared to praise (I LOVE this one!), and how to build a faith so strong it can withstand anything. Your soul will thank you for tuning in.

Topics Discussed

• Sarah’s rocky journey from Protestantism to Catholicism and how she heard God’s call to convert (anyone considering joining the Catholic Church will resonate with this!)
• Do I follow my heart or follow my dreams?
• God calls us not just in spite of, but because of our inadequacies
• God wants us to be happy, but what does happy really mean?
• The underrated and quiet power of accompanying others
• Physical beauty: how does it fit into God’s plan? How do you use it for good? How do you keep from being jealous?

Resources

• Sarah’s website: Comeintotheword.com
• Sarah’s book: Becoming Women of the Word
• Stacey’s vocational discernment journey: Episode 8 of Called and Caffeinated
• 1000 Gifts by Anne Voskamp

How Should You Spend Your 20s? feat. Jackie and Bobby Angel

"If God alone isn't enough, then nothing will be ever."

I don't know about you, but my 20's were HARD- and a lot of that was because of conflicting advice. I was told you don't need to take responsibility or start a family until you're 30. Others said focus on your career. I got FOMO watching my friends in their early 20's who were already married with kids and thought, "what's wrong with me? Have I missed the boat?" Insecurity, confusion, and a general feeling of starring in Hot Mess: The Musical! was my story many days.

For this episode I reached a personal goal in scoring an interview with Jackie and Bobby Angel (still doing a happy dance over here.) You may know Jackie by her maiden name Francois, a pioneer in the world of Catholic speakers. The Angels are real, raw and honest and they cut through noise with clear advice that will help any confused 20-somethings (and also teens!) move through each day with eyes on what matters and the courage to let go of the rest. The 20's are indeed not a "disposable decade" and when you focus on the right things there is no reason to fear that you'll miss something important.

Topics

• How to be joyful in singlehood
• Prioritizing
• What are the “prerequisites” to getting married?
• Marriage: what it's REALLY like
• How to determine if he or she is the One
• What to do when you fear that “I’ll never find anyone better”
• My story about meeting my husband who was a 24-year-old jobless painter and a monastery drop-out…and how I knew almost immediately he was the right one
• Handling rejection 
• What to do when you have no idea what to do

Resources

• Pray, Decide, and Don’t Worry- Jackie and Bobby’s new book co-authored with Fr. Mike Schmitz (pre-order here!)
• Bobby’s Blog Post Your 20s Are Over
• Missionaries of Maximilian Kolbe- Secular Institute
• Jackie’s blog The Devil Wants Us to Settle In Your Relationship
• Stacey’s blog How Do My Unique Gifts Fit Into My Vocation? What If They Don't?
• Greg Bottaro’s counseling services
• The Practice of the Presence of God
• Abandonment to Divine Providence
• Soul of the Apostolate by Jean-Baptiste Chautard
• The Reed of God by Caryll Houselander

Your Discernment Frustrations, Answered feat. Fr. Leo Patalinghug

“For many years I was scared to share my talents. And it led me to a life of correctness that was not Catholic…the greatest saints were not afraid to live outside of the bubble!”

Fr. Leo is as spicy as the jalapenos he cooks with, and he is serving up lots of sass and loving reality checks in this episode. One of the things I so admire about Fr. Leo, who break dances and karate chops FIVE boards in his presentations for the glory of God, is his incorporation of his many talents into his callings as a priest and a speaker. Fr. Leo has also hosted a cooking show and beat THE Bobby Flay in a cooking throw down on the Food Network! It gives me such awe of the creativity of the Holy Spirit. Are you a baker? Martial artist? Knitter? Video gamer? God can use it.

Along with opening our minds to God's creativity, Fr. Leo is answering your greatest discernment frustrations. Are you afraid of making “the wrong choice?” Unsure of whose advice to listen to? Unsure of whether your fear comes from a bad choice or the devil trying to bring you down? Feeling a lack of a clear answer from God? Unsure whether you’re following God’s will or your own will? All of these answered, and more!

Topics Discussed

• Leo’s “vocation within a vocation” as a priest at the Secular Institute (he’s a priest who also lives under the vow of poverty, which diocesan priests do not.)
• How our passions can be incorporated into our vocation
• Why mistakes are necessary in discernment
• How to ask clear questions so that you can get a clear answer from God
• “Voluntas nostrae:” The will of God AND me
• How to encourage your children to consider religious life

Resources

• Plating Grace
• Voluntas Dei Secular Institute

Finding Balance feat. Meg Hunter-Kilmer

“I spend serious time in silent prayer every day and then I live my life. And I trust that either God is going to form my heart to desire what he desires, or he’s going to step in and stop me before I do something stupid, or he’s going to fix it afterward.”

The self-proclaimed “hobo for Christ” is here and she’s BRILLIANT and hilarious. Because of living out of her car for the last seven years, relying on the mercy of others to take her into their home, and preaching the gospel wherever possible and in whatever circumstances possible, you might think Meg Hunter-Kilmer is an easygoing, type B person who goes with the flow. But not at all. She loves spreadsheets and control and knowing what the plan is.

Do you relate? Do you struggle to achieve this nebulous thing called “balance?” Meg and I talk about how to give control up to God, what “balance” looks like in his plan for you, and what “balance” meant in the lives of some of the saints. Our hefty conversation also veered into mom guilt, how to pray, and how to put boundaries around the right things. There is so much great stuff in here and Meg will make you laugh soooo many times throughout the episode- guaranteed! Because she is a saint expert, I’ve linked to pages about the saints we discuss in the show notes so you can go get yourself an ‘edumacation’ on some lesser-known saints.

Topics Discussed

• Praying: how to actually do it instead of using it as a place for airing your grievances to God
• Balance according to the world vs. balance accordance to God
• Filtering out what isn’t necessary
• How to stop doing lots of things and accomplishing nothing
• Catholic mom expectations: what to keep and what to lose
• I can’t do it all, so what can I outsource?

Resources

• Meg’s blog
• Blessed Maria and Luigi Quoattrochi
• Surrender: Your Discernment “Secret Weapon”
• "Boundaries"
• St. Mary of Egypt
• Ven. Cornelia Connelly
• Bl. Victoire Rasoamanarivo
• St. Francis DeSales
• St. Jerome
• St. Saturnina
• St. Camillus De Lellis

Today's episode is sponsored by the Carmelite Sisters of Baltimore. To see more about their life and attend one of the discernment retreats they sponsor throughout the year, please visit their website at https://www.baltimorecarmel.org/

Called to Service: You've Probably Never Heard of This Before feat. Katherine Mitchell

 “I have (teenage) girls who are former gang members but who are down for some karaoke and ice cream- and they want to do it, because they’ve never had that before.” 

Imagine you have been systematically abused and neglected at home, and the court system says you cannot go home. Instead, you have to live in an unfamiliar environment with strangers. Oh, and you’re also fifteen, with a teenagers’ limited life perspective and hormones like craaaazay.

What if that was your life? Unfortunately, members of our society in every town and city go through this. These emergency shelters for abused and neglected teens could be right around the block from you. My guest today, Katherine Mitchell, is on the front lines of loving these teens by working in a shelter. She says that the number one thing the young women want is to be normal. They want someone to notice them and to care about them. And they need examples of healthy relationships because those have been denied them. 

Is God calling you to be that person? Maybe you’re not ready to adopt a teen (TBH, I’d be super nervous to do that...) but whether you're single, in college, married with kids, or an empty-nester, you can make a world of difference to a teen by becoming a mentor or a tutor. I am honestly shocked at how easy and accessible this form of service is where I formerly would have thought that it wasn’t for me. And honestly, the times when I have coordinated or participated in intentional service have taught me so much about myself and my relationship with Christ, that it has exponentially grown my heart and turbo-charged my discernment in other areas.

This work is another contribution to the pro-life movement, and unfortunately I don’t think most Catholics know about these suffering teenagers (I certainly didn’t until I ‘met’ Katherine on Instagram.) I encourage you to take the first steps if you this episode inspires a stirring in your heart to serve in this way. I know I’m gonna be seeking it out in my town.

Topics Discussed

• What is an emergency shelter for teens?
• Many ideas for how to serve teens in the foster care system, including group volunteering and hosting a parish info event
• What you need to get started serving in a shelter
• What to do if you feel awkward with teens 
• Under certain circumstances you can adopt for free (I didn’t know about this- everyone has told me that adoption is ALWAYS expensive!)

Resources

• Katherine’s Instagram: @k.t.mitchell